Sunday, October 9, 2011

I couldn't bring myself to watch General Conference this time

So, I didn't watch any of conference last week.  This is the first time in my entire life where this has happened.  I'm wanting to catch up and I'll start this week.  Any suggestions on which talk(s) I should start with?

In the past, I've always looked forward to conference weekend.  I would keep my schedule clear so that I wouldn't have any interruptions to conference.  I usually look forward to the messages shared and feel comfort and strength as I take in the talks.  I've even felt in the past that some of the talks are specifically for me.  But this time around, I think I just felt a little too broken hearted to watch any of it.  I'll accept accountability and say that I didn't prepare myself this time around.  It's not out of rebellion that I didn't watch.  I just felt that it would be too painful right now. 

I'm sure that I would readily agree with most of what was shared.  I still have favorite speakers (Oaks, Bednar, Eyring).  But I was in such a heavy space last weekend that I couldn't handle any messages that were too hard to listen to.  I'll catch up and take in conference in palatable, bite-size pieces this time.  Did anyone else have a little hesitation this time around?  How did you overcome it and welcome conference with an open heart and mind?

What does this mean for my desire to date men?  I'm not sure where I'm at with that.  There are 2 guys that I'm crushin' on right now and I want to get to know them.  But one of them is married and I don't think the other is interested anyway.  So, not a lot of movement.  I suppose that's a good thing.  Gives me more time to figure out what I want.