I've been following a lot of other blogs on the topic of being Mormon and gay and have read a lot of interesting things. I agree with so much of what I see and disagree with a lot too. I felt it was time to start my own blog and have a place that I can fully express what's going on as I figure out what the hell I'm going to do.
Here's where I'm at: I'm in my mid-30's, I've always been active in the LDS church, I have a love and appreciation for the gospel of Jesus Christ and a separate love and appreciation for the organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon and of Joseph Smith. I served a mission where I had some great experiences that have strengthened the testimony I have of these things, and I've enjoyed some cool experiences since then that continue to bring me peace, understanding, and comfort.
Through all of this, I have never been in a serious relationship in my life. I have no interest in dating women even though that's what I'm supposed to do. I have a lot of interest in dating men and finding a guy to have a committed relationship with and I'm pretty serious about pursuing that now. Before, it was never a consideration because I deemed it as sinful. To a degree, I still do, but I am at a point where not being able to love (both in giving it and receiving it) is killing me. I may not be dying physically, but I seemed to be dying in other ways (even spiritually) and I need to see if finding someone to love will provide the kind of happiness I'm currently lacking.
I look forward to reading your continued posts and keeping you informed of my own experiences. I welcome your opinions and feedback. Thanks for taking time to review my blog.