Welcome to my blog!

I've been following a lot of other blogs on the topic of being Mormon and gay and have read a lot of interesting things.  I agree with so much of what I see and disagree with a lot too.  I felt it was time to start my own blog and have a place that I can fully express what's going on as I figure out what the hell I'm going to do. 

Here's where I'm at:  I'm in my mid-30's, I've always been active in the LDS church, I have a love and appreciation for the gospel of Jesus Christ and a separate love and appreciation for the organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon and of Joseph Smith.  I served a mission where I had some great experiences that have strengthened the testimony I have of these things, and I've enjoyed some cool experiences since then that continue to bring me peace, understanding, and comfort.

Through all of this, I have never been in a serious relationship in my life.  I have no interest in dating women even though that's what I'm supposed to do.  I have a lot of interest in dating men and finding a guy to have a committed relationship with and I'm pretty serious about pursuing that now.  Before, it was never a consideration because I deemed it as sinful.  To a degree, I still do, but I am at a point where not being able to love (both in giving it and receiving it) is killing me.  I may not be dying physically, but I seemed to be dying in other ways (even spiritually) and I need to see if finding someone to love will provide the kind of happiness I'm currently lacking.

I look forward to reading your continued posts and keeping you informed of my own experiences.  I welcome your opinions and feedback.  Thanks for taking time to review my blog.

-Benny